Sequence of events

A written copy of the schedule should be given to those involved: the caterer, the musicians, photographer, videographer, family and wedding party members.

Below is a general sequence of reception events. Vary it according to your needs:

1. Preparation for the guests’ arrival.
Decorations are in place, background music plays, and the guest book (brought from the ceremony) is placed on a table or podium. A gift table (visible, but out of the traffic flow) is prepared, with a decorative secure container or basket to hold cards and monetary gifts. A gift table attendant and guest book attendant may be needed before dinner. At dinnertime, the gifts should be placed in a room with a door that can be closed and locked; the guest book may then be left unattended.

An honorary host or hostess can greet guests, help with their coats, and invite them to enjoy prepared light refreshments. Guests are mingling and visiting—not seated in the dining area.

2. The receiving line or grand entrance.
Traditionally, guests greet the bride and groom in a receiving line at the ceremony location. However, in recent times, receiving the guests is sometimes done at the reception site. If you decide to greet your guests at the reception, one option is to go from table to table during dinner (after you have eaten). This ensures that you will greet every guest, while allowing more time for the celebration. Make this decision early, as this element will dictate the timing of other events, including the dinner and dance. An hour or more may be needed to greet 200 guests.

Dinner may be announced after the bride and groom arrive at the reception. Alternatively, dinner may be announced just as the bride and groom arrive at the reception, but before they enter. In this case all guests take their seats at dinner, and the bride and groom and wedding party may make their “grand entrance.”

The bandleader, disc jockey, or a family member may act as the master of ceremonies, introducing the bride and groom and each of their wedding attendants.

3. The meal.
The wedding party and the guests are seated. An invo-cation or table blessing may be said, after which serving begins. The bride and groom and the wedding party are served first. The immediate wedding party is most often served while seated even if the guests will be served buffet style. Seating arrangements at the bride’s table are as follows: bridal couple in the center; maid of honor at the bride’s right; best man at the groom’s left. Seat the other attendants, alternating men and women. Order of service: bride, groom, maid of honor, all female members of wedding party, then male members of wedding party.

The guests are served, beginning with the parents and grandparents of the newlyweds and any tables of honored guests. Here there is room for variation, as some parents consider themselves to be the hosts and hostesses of the celebration and prefer that their guests be served first. However, the practicality of the situation is that serving the parents firsts allows them to be among the first to finish so they may begin to mingle with the other guests as they have finished their meal.

4. The toast.
The best man then presents the trad-itional toast to the bridal couple; other toasts may be pre-sented throughout the meal.

5. Cutting the cake.
Cutting and serving the cake comes after dinner. The couples cut the first slice with their hands held toget-her over the knife handle, and share it. Then the caterer’s staff, or designated honored guests, may finish cutting and serving. Again, the wedding party and parents are served first; after the newlyweds are finished with their dessert, they may wish to circulate among the tables and visit with guests.

6. The festivities.
Dessert is generally followed by a break at which time guests are able to circulate, refresh themselves, perhaps even walking outdoors for a few minutes before the dancing or other activity begins. Instead of a dance, you might choose to hold some alternative form of entertainment, or simply keep the time open to socialize with guests.

7. The dance.
The first dance is usually reserved for the bride and groom, and then parents and the wedding party join them. Specialty dances and mixers are often included between dance sets. Plan these interludes with your music providers.

8. Traditional rituals.
Prior to leaving the reception, the bride may wish to toss her bouquet to the single women in the group, or the groom may wish to toss the bride’s garter to the bachelors. Tradition dictates that the recipients of these two items will be the next to marry. Some couples choose to forgo this tradition and choose to give the flowers and garter to the couple at the wedding who have been married for the most years.

9. The escape.
Finally, the two of you leave the reception. Perhaps you prefer to slip away with little notice, or you’d rather make a grand exit being showered by rice, potpourri, flowers or bubbles raining down upon you, bringing wishes for fertility, prosperity and happiness.